Conflict Resolution for Healthy Communication
Whether you are a boss speaking to your employees, a daughter to her mom, or friend to friend, the dynamics of communication are either working or not. Good or bad, your ability to communicate effectively touches all areas of your life.
Unhealthy communication can leave you:
- Lacking close friendships
- Feeling like no one really knows you
- Distant or cut-off with family members
- Passive or withdrawn
- Experiencing out-of-control emotions or rebellious behaviour
- Experiencing conflict and unhealthy anger
- Needing approval from others
- Blaming or gossiping
- Seeing others as lesser than yourself or better than yourself
- Experiencing indecision, frustration & resentment
Connection to Self = Connection to Others
If you are not feeling connected to yourself, how could others feel connected to you?
Changing your mind will change your life but until you’ve experienced it, it will seem impossible.
All the values you have learned through your family and culture interpret how you experience events and information. Unbelievably, about 70% of all communication is non-verbal. Beyond what your words are saying, much of what you are thinking is being communicated, often without you being aware.
Thankfully, as you become more aware of what your values are, you can make intentional changes and, not only does your inner world improve but your outer world and how others relate to you will change too.
There are very practical tools to build this awareness of how you are communicating and relating to others.
Once you learn how to shift your focus to yourself and rely on your own inner guidance, other people disagreeing with you will no longer bother you and you will be able to make clear, calm decisions.
Your peace of mind and confidence will help ground you and provide a stable, safe and satisfying feeling in your life while the people around you will experience a sense of freedom to be themselves.
If not just for yourself, give the gift of clearer, heartfelt, and more functional communication to those around you. What an amazing tool to teach your children!
Liz Coleman, RTC, is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor based in Surrey, BC. She specializes in anxiety, anger, insecurity, and relationship problems. If you have any questions about this article or would like to schedule an appointment, please call Ms. Coleman at (604) 809-8947 or use the convenient form on her Contact page.