Have you ever exploded with anger?
An anger that seemed inappropriate to the moment? Like an explosion that surprises everyone around you including yourself…
It might be a dramatic episode or a brief flash of anger such as:
- road rage
- physical or verbal aggression
- throwing and breaking objects
- an old-fashioned temper tantrum
- refusing to be kind or forgive someone
- a critical judgment of someone
No matter how it manifests itself, the explosive anger leaves you feeling a combination of guilty, inadequate, sad, tired, hopeless and out of control.
You’re not alone… here’s a helpful hint to lessen and eventually avoid those moments.
EMBRACE YOUR EMOTIONS!!! Especially if it’s sadness or pain
Think of a water toy being pushed down into the water… what happens?
The pressure builds up steadily until eventually, it shoots up out of the water. That is the result of ‘holding down’ your emotions that eventually build up to create your explosive anger. Avoiding the feeling of pain, sadness or frustration merely pushes it down adding to the pressure. It needs to come out and it will one way or another either expressed out or repressed in. (Repression can contribute to depression as well as physical symptoms)
If you name and allow feelings in the moment (deep breaths help), especially the small emotions, they will naturally pass by rather than remain stuck. As you do this the emotions will get easier handle and less intense over time.
Wouldn’t you rather stay open to seeing all the good stuff in front of you instead of working so hard to hold on to your feelings?
No wonder we’re so tired all the time!
Liz Coleman, RTC, is a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor based in Surrey, BC. She specializes in anxiety, anger, insecurity, and relationship problems. If you have any questions about this article or would like to schedule an appointment, please call Ms. Coleman at (604) 809-8947 or use the convenient form on her Contact page.